Let’s Just Chill and Examine Your Dumb Ideas
Very little amuses me more than silly girls and their dumb ideas about dating. Go over to Single and Looking and read about her thoughts on Movie Night. She gives five, rather disjointed reasons for why inviting a girl to come over, chill, and watch a movie is a terrible date, so how about five reasons she’s just wrong about dating:
1. Movie night is not code for “let me try to hit that.” Movie night is code for “I was planning on staying in and watching a movie and it’d be somewhat more enjoyable if you came over and watched it with me.” Guys want to know if a girl will fit into his life without turning everything upside down. You don’t have to change yourself to fit into our world, we just want to make sure you’re not going to try to change our world to suit you. Inviting you to do things we were going to do anyways is the best way to do that. Also, it reminds you that our plans aren’t contingent on your participation.
1(a). All guys want to get into your pants, regardless of what you do on your date. If a guy’s not trying to sleep with you, he’s either a gutless coward, or getting plenty elsewhere. Or you’re uggo.
1(b). “No funny business,” does not mean “no funny business.” It means “Be cool and there’ll totally be some funny business.”
2. We want to know what type of person you’re like before we expose the world to you. We need to see what you’re like in a controlled environment before we risk taking you out into public where you might mistreat waiters, but rude to any friends we happen to run into, or just cause a scene for no good reason.
3. Getting to know a guy doesn’t give you any real assurance that you’re not going to be raped or murdered by him. Getting to know him just means you’re probably going to end up like a whole lot of other women and overlook obvious signs of creepiness or douchebaggery and forgive him when he mistreats you. Better to get a good gauge of his criminal tendencies before you’ve grown attached.
4. No dates are creative. Every date you ever go on has literally been done before.
4(a). We don’t want to do all the work on the date. Dates are a way for people to get to know each other and enjoy each other’s company. Only a fool sets up his date to be nothing more than an intensive test where he is on trial and the girl is judge, jury and executioner.
5. None of you is pure and innocent and we know it. Stop pretending. When you act all prim and proper at the start but then reveal a freaky side later, you’re just going to find yourself with a guy who wanted the prim and proper girl. That’s why he was dating her! He wasn’t dating you secretly hoping you’d be someone else. He was dating you hoping you were you.