Damn kids

Apparently I’ve become the crotchety old man who yells at the neighbor kids.  There’s a small lake (or a really large pond) outside my parents’ house that’s frozen over.  For the past couple days, the neighbor kids have been running around and playing on it.  But today it was pretty obvious that things were starting to thaw.  So, I went and yelled at the neighbor kids, telling them that two kids just died nearby doing the exact same thing.

Idiot Kid: “I didn’t want to, but they forced me.”

BL1Y: “Did they drag you?”

Idiot Kid: “No.”

BL1Y: “Do you know what ‘force’ means?”

The idiot kids didn’t really seem to care.  Apparently the solid state of water is just that entertaining.  So, I decided to make a flier and distribute it to the neighbors:

You might be wondering why I’d even bother with this.  Well, I have a very good reason.  Most of the rooms in this house have a view of the lake, and it’s kinda hard to not watch a potential tragedy.  It’s like rubbernecking to see a car wreck, but the cars just haven’t collided yet.

And, I know that if one of the kids fell through, and they travel in groups, so probably a couple would go in the drink, I’d call 911 and then out and see if there was any way for me to help.  And undoubtedly, there wouldn’t be, because I’m smart enough to stay back a good enough distance to not compound the tragedy by also falling in.  Given how quickly they’d die trapped under the ice, my efforts would certainly fail, but I’d run out there anyways.  And it’s really warm in here and I don’t want to jump out of my comfy chair and charge into the cold without my hat and jacket on.  I’d really just prefer to be bothered.  I’m not against kids dying in stupid ways, I’m pro-choice.  I just don’t want to be hassled.


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