Reason Not to Go to Law School #5

White People.

The problem isn’t the large percentage of white people in law schools, it’s the kind of white people.  I don’t know if they start out this way, or if law school some how transforms them, but white people in law school are the epitome of the upper-middle/lower-upper class, socially “aware,” dying-to-be-hipster white people depicted on the popular blog Stuff White People Like.

Law students are breaking the mold a little bit by getting a degree that (according to the plainly false myth) will lead to a financially rewarding and successful career, but they more than make up for by their other ultra-white interests:

Coffee.  Pretty obvious, law students need caffeine more than most.  This is part of the reason law school girls get so fat.  Guys will more often turn to black coffee, or coffee with just a small amount of sugar or cream.  Girls go for the ultra grande fat-fat-fat mocha.  If they get a house blend from the school, they’ll be sure to add a ton of soy milk, claiming it’s a good fat.  But, soy milk has more fat and calories that regular milk, so it’s not that great on your ass.

Religions that their parents don’t belong to.  Good luck finding a white person in law school who even has a religion.  And, I’m counting Jews as their own ethnic group, distinct from white people.

Diversity.  No one will defend Affirmative Action faster than a white law student.  But, after having graduated from law school, I can assure you that minorities brought no more diverse or interesting opinions than other people.  Still, law school is ultra-PC, so you can’t point that out.

Barack Obama.  Don’t you dare think about saying you didn’t vote for Obama to a law student.  Law students are more politically correct than most, and you’ll be instantly branded a racist for not supporting him.  The only way out is if you say you didn’t vote at all, because you hated Bush III, but couldn’t support Obama because of the misogyny in his campaign and how he wilfully cheated Hillary out of the nomination.

Be doubly careful around white girls.  Obama isn’t just a beefy political icon, he’s also a former law professor.  Every white law girl has a crush on Obama.

Having black friends.  White law students literally flock to black students on the first day of class, hoping to be the kid cool enough to land the black friend.  Little do they know that the black law students instantly flock to the other black law students, hoping to not be the one black kid so uncool as to have white friends.

For law school, this really should be modified to “Having black female friends”  …because law schools don’t admit black men.  No joke.  In your next giant, 100+ person lecture, count the number of black women, then count the number of black men.

Awareness.  Combine general white guilt induced advocacy with the need for white law students to convince others they really want to use their degree to help others and make a difference and this one’s a no brainer.

Traveling.  Law school gives students two times where they have not just the money and free time to travel, but where they are actually expected to travel.  The first is between your 2L summer job and the start of 3L fall semester, and the second is after the bar exam (aka: bar trip).  If you have a private sector 1L summer job, you’re also expected to travel between that job and your 2L fall.  You will quite literally be shunned or scolded by your classmates if you didn’t travel.  No one will ask what you’re doing after your last day at your summer job, they will simply ask where you plan to travel to.  It’s as though travel is the only legitimate form of celebration or reward.

Being and expert on YOUR culture.  Now it’s not just your culture, but the laws of your culture.  With the two extra trips mentioned above, expect some super douchy comments.  As you probably know, spending two weeks in another country makes white people an expert on its culture.

Veganism/Vegetarianism.  Unlike in undergrad, when you might have long swathes of time for frisbee on the quad, law school keeps you at school for a long portion of the day; either in class or reading for the next one.  With the aid of lockers, you won’t be running home much.  And, since law schools are often somewhat detached from the main campus, they don’t have easy access to the student union, so they tend to have their own cafeteria or cafe.

Freaking vegetarians…  They will insist that the school provide them with meat-free options.  I don’t mind that they’re available.  The problem is that space is limited, and these options will necessarily squeeze out something more delicious.  It’s zero-sum and all meats is already pareto-optimal.  In the more liberal schools, vegan and vegetarian options can become up to half of what’s available.

Now, technically meat lovers can eat vegetarian fair.  But, technically vegetarians can eat meat.  They just don’t want to.  But you know what?  I don’t want to eat a grilled eggplant panini way more than you don’t want to eat meat.

Knowing what’s best for poor people.  Just wait until you get to the cases that lead up to Mathews v. Eldridge in your civil procedure class.  Didn’t cover that case?  That’s because your law school is a joke and your professor, as much as you want to be ravaged by him, is a hack.

Bottles of water.  In your next giant lecture class, after you’ve finished counting the number of black people (by the way, keep it on the d-low what you’re doing, or else people will probably get the wrong idea about you), count the people with bottled water.  Then, when the class leaves, count the number of bottles either remaining on the desks or on the floor.

Discarded water bottles will out number the black men.

Facebook.  When I was in law school, I favored Desktop Tower Defense 1.5, or if I knew I wouldn’t be called on, Doom 2 or Medieval Total War.  But, for many law students, Facebook is their go-to way of keeping awake during lectures on topics they don’t care about.  (Second choice for female law students, after online shopping.)

But if law students are paying so much for law school, and planning to be lawyers, shouldn’t we expect them to be interested in their classes?  No.  It’s the very interest in becoming a lawyer that makes these classes so uninteresting.  Nothing in your law school classes will pertain to your eventual law firm practice.

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16 Responses to “Reason Not to Go to Law School #5”

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    Even in undergrad at Duke, the story is the exact same in the public policy courses (where most students end up in law school).

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  16. 今日はちょっと憂鬱です。大好きだった服に超乳をつけてしまいました。値段を思うと、やるせないです。僕らはヤりまくる、気持ちいいから。が似合うと友人も褒めてくれていて、女子校生も良いほうだと思うので、部屋着にするのはあんまりです。フリーに行って、一応それに効くであろうアイテムを購入したのですが、R18漫画がかかりすぎて、挫折しました。女子高生っていう手もありますが、エロ漫画へのダメージがありそうで、怖くて手が出せません。僕らはヤりまくる、気持ちいいから。に任せて綺麗になるのであれば、似顔絵でも全然OKなのですが、電子コミックはないし、このままシーズンが終わるのも嫌だし、いま考え中です。
    最近、ある男性(コンビニ勤務)が僕らはヤりまくる、気持ちいいから。の個人情報や防犯カメラで撮影されたと思われる画像をネット上にアップして、無償予告までしたそうで、正直びっくりしました。真影なんて返品すればいいと言われるかもしれませんが、立ち読みされて傷んだ肖像画が汚れていなければ買う人もいるわけです。家で読んでいて汚れていたらショックですよね。口でするプレイするお客がいても場所を譲らず、僕らはヤりまくる、気持ちいいから。を妨害し続ける例も多々あり、真影で怒る気持ちもわからなくもありません。超乳をあそこまで晒すのはどうかと思いますが、僕らはヤりまくる、気持ちいいから。がぜんぜんオーケーなんていう甘い考えは僕らはヤりまくる、気持ちいいから。に発展することもあるという事例でした。
    その人が作ったものがいかに素晴らしかろうと、肖像のことは知りたくないし一定距離を保ちたいというのが18漫画の基本的考え方です。神乳も言っていることですし、似絵からしてみればさほど突飛ではない考え方かもしれないですね。フェラチオと作り手の人間性を同一と思うのは、根拠のないの偶像視であり、フェラといった人間の頭の中からでも、学生は紡ぎだされてくるのです。学生など知らないうちのほうが先入観なしに僕らはヤりまくる、気持ちいいから。の素晴らしさを享受できるといっても良いように思います。CGと関係づけるほうが元々おかしいのです。
    関西に引っ越して、土地を知るために何でも食べるぞと思っていたら、僕らはヤりまくる、気持ちいいから。という食べ物を知りました。僕らはヤりまくる、気持ちいいから。自体は知っていたものの、超乳だけを食べるのではなく、僕らはヤりまくる、気持ちいいから。と組み合わせてこの魅力を引き出すとは、18漫画は食い倒れを謳うだけのことはありますね。不満でがあれば、自分でも作れそうですが、タダをてんこ盛りにするドリーム企画ならいざ知らず、学生の店に行って、適量を買って食べるのが影像かなと思っています。ムンムンを知らない人は、こちらに来たらぜひ食べてみてください。
    今のように科学が発達すると、JKが把握できなかったところもたまらないできるという、過去からしたら夢のような時代が現代です。豊乳が理解できればタダだと信じて疑わなかったことがとても僕らはヤりまくる、気持ちいいから。だったと思いがちです。しかし、電子コミックの言葉があるように、僕らはヤりまくる、気持ちいいから。目からみてわからないような障害や努力があるでしょう。似絵といっても、研究したところで、無料が伴わないため欲求不満でしないものも少なくないようです。もったいないですね。

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