Reason Not to Go to Law School #11

Foreigners.

Law school is lousy with foreigners, especially LLM students.  They make the worst gunners, and they’re the most rude, unsocialized students in the school.  This is definitely not a race thing though.  American-born minority students are pretty much the same as everybody else (not counting admissions standards).

The really obnoxious students are the ones who were born in eastern Europe, Africa, and Asia.  And, for the geographically challenged, Israel, Iran, and India are all part of Asia, so keep that in mind.  I can’t speak to Ausie or South American law students, because I don’t really recall encountering any.  I’m sure there were a few, which means if I didn’t notice them they did a good job of not being complete assholes.

The first time you’ll notice how bad the foreign students are is when you try to get a seat in the library to study for exams.  Law libraries get pretty full this time of year, so it’s kind of like trying to park at Target two days before Christmas.  Eventually though, you will find a spot that looks empty and mosey on over to it…only to discover that someone’s backpack is in the seat and their laptop is on the table, chained to the desk lamp.  This is the equivalent of finding that perfect parking spot only to realize that half a dozen assholes have decided to place shopping carts in it.

Now, I understand that long study sessions in the library require occasional breaks, and I don’t think you should have to give up your seat to go smoke or pee or get coffee.  The problem is with the foreign born students who will claim a spot, but not occupy it for hours at a time.  It’s a pretty common site, but the worst I encountered was a student who held a seat for over six hours.  I had the seat across from him, and he wasn’t there when I sat down.  Six hours later when I left he hadn’t once showed up.

Foreign born students are also the most likely to leave trash on the tables in the library, cafes, or in the classrooms.  I don’t really know why they do it, but I guess they’re not used to living in a country with regular garbage pickups, so the idea of putting things in a trash can so that it can end up in some central trash processing facility has never occurred to them.  They should get some sort of primer on the wonderful world of America and how it’s much better than the shit hole they just moved from.

I know it’s not politically correct to say how much America is better than other countries, but come on!  How many American students go to foreign countries to get college degrees (not just to spend a semester abroad, but to get the whole damn degree).  Now compare that to the students coming here.  We’re called First World because we’re #1, end of discussion.

If you have to get smuggled into the Sudan to have better opportunities in your life, your country is a shit hole.  If you don’t like me calling it a shit hole, then explain why you refuse to return.  (My buddy who was smuggled into the Sudan to get out of his country now works for our government and has no intention of returning.  Also, if he did return, his country would throw him in prison for leaving.  That’s how much of a shit hole it is.)

Back to sloppy foreigners…the worst thing I’ve seen one do was, once again, in the library.  This asian guy was sitting across from me and I guess was the only person in law school not using a computer.  (Come on!  Don’t they make our computers in your country?  You couldn’t get one as a going away present?)  Instead he wrote in a notebook with a pencil.  I guess he made a lot of mistakes, because he kept erasing large sections of whatever he had written.  It might be a while since you’ve used a pencil, so let me remind you of what happens when you erase a lot.  A bunch of little pieces of eraser-rubber break off and make a mess.  The normal thing to do is just sweep them harmlessly onto the floor where they’ll be eventually vacuumed up.

But nope, this guy decides that the proper way to dispose of his eraser mess is to push the little rubber bits over to my side of the table.  What the fuck is this guy thinking?  It that how they do things back in your come country?  I guess his people are used to being rude.  When you look like everyone else, no one can really remember if you’ve ever met before and if you were polite or rude.

And now moving on to the final reason foreign law students are so God damn annoying, gunning.  American born law students gun just as much as the foreigners, but the foreigners do it in the most annoying way.  You can tell you have a foreign gunner because every comment he makes begins with “In my country…”  Unless the class starts with “International” or “Comparative” no one gives two shits how things operate in your country.  We want to learn about the law of our own country.  Not that we will, but we’d at least like to pretend that’s what’s going on.  This is especially common in classes that deal with social justice issues, such as the death penalty.

“In my country, instead of a trial, Supreme Leader would simply send his sons to gas thousands of us.  But now that Americans are there we have trials.  Even Supreme Leader got a trial after he was deposed.  We are grateful that your brave American soldiers have stopped the genocide that was happening to my people.”

Shut up Rojdar, no one cares.

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4 Responses to “Reason Not to Go to Law School #11”

  1. You hit the nail on the head. In business school, the Indians and Chinese were out of control, both in demeanor, attitude, presence, and worst of all, hygiene.

    • Never lived with a foreign student, so I got to miss most of the hygiene problems, but I’ve heard my fill of stories. They treat dorm rooms like rockers treat hotels, but replace hot groupies with unflushed turds and stinky, rotten ethnic food.

  2. Hey man grow a pair. That’s really all there’s to say about anything you’ve done with this blog. This isn’t Stuffwhitepeoplelike, which is–at the very least–witty and self-deprecating. You haven’t achieved that, and won’t, probably because you can’t. I get the whole “I’ve worked my ass off to get here and it’s disappointing” thing, but the anger of this blog isn’t constructive, it’s just your own desperate effort to channel a frustrating recognition into something else: you’re really, truly not as brilliant as you thought you were when you started law school. And that’s actually what’s got you so pissed right now. But it doesn’t excuse your desire to make your classmates out to look like something the cat drug in. If you had any capacity for self-reflection, at least you might have a marginal idea of how much nicer your life is than that of most everyone else on Earth. But you can’t see any of that. So instead of studying more to ensure that you get every ounce you can out of the terrific opportunity that is law school, or even asking one of those foreign students out to the bar after class to get a sense of who they are past the most cliched stereotyping (you’re probably too socially maladjusted for that anyway), you’ve just wasted your time writing this shit. Penning shit rants about how you probably won’t make 160k on the other side of graduation. Honestly though, making a ton of money is one thing you’ll never have to worry about. Because it’s obvious you’re a rotten person, and you’ll make a terrific lawyer.

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