I’m naming my first born “The Dark Knight”

At first I thought it was pretty stupid people were getting depressed over not being able to live on the fictional planet of North America Pandora.  But then I read the news this morning.  Apparently there’s been a surge in people naming their children Pocahontas Neytiri, maze Turok, and Jamestown Pandora.

When I saw the headline that there was a surge in Pandora inspired names, I was honestly expecting to see a spike in John Rolfe Jake.  But if there was one, it didn’t make the news.  Apparently it’s not unusual for a $100 million movie to create a naming surge, but these names are particularly retarded.  Just imagine kids being asked to explain their namesake.

Random Shlub: “Neytiri, that’s an unusual name, how’d you get it?”

Neytiri: “I was named after a character from this weird SciFi movie.”

Random Shlub: “Oh, neat.  Can you describe the character’s personality?”

Neytiri: “Uh…Nonexistant?”

Random Shlub: “What about you Turok?”

Turok: “I was named after a giant flying creature from the same movie.”

Random Shlub: “Oh, interesting, does it have any special powers?”

Turok: “Um…it’s a little bit bigger than the other flying creatures, I guess.”

Random Shlub: “What about you Pandora, how’d you get your name?”

Pandora: “I was named after the planet from that movie.”

Random Shlub: “But not the far more famous Greek figure?”

Pandora: “The who?”

Random Shlub: “You know, the woman?  With the box?  Kinda…screws everything up for mankind.”

Pandora: “No, Pandora is a planet in a movie by the same name.  My parents never mentioned a story about a box.”

Random Shlub: “Are your parents ignorant  dumbasses?”

Pandora: “I don’t think so.  They must read a lot, because they keep their reading glasses on the table next to the couch.”

Random Shlub: “Are they 3D reading glasses?”

Pandora: “Yeah, for the subtitles.”

Random Shlub: “Well, this has been interesting.  Nice meeting you three, but I have to run off and meet my friends Raptor, Titanic, and Green Goblin.”


One Response to “I’m naming my first born “The Dark Knight””

  1. Spot on! The lack of originality and need to feel creative through naming one’s progeny after vapid characters from third rate sci-fi flicks is a sign of the pending apocalypse. We’re doomed.

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