Archive for Pandora

I’m naming my first born “The Dark Knight”

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , , on January 18, 2010 by bl1y

At first I thought it was pretty stupid people were getting depressed over not being able to live on the fictional planet of North America Pandora.  But then I read the news this morning.  Apparently there’s been a surge in people naming their children Pocahontas Neytiri, maze Turok, and Jamestown Pandora.

When I saw the headline that there was a surge in Pandora inspired names, I was honestly expecting to see a spike in John Rolfe Jake.  But if there was one, it didn’t make the news.  Apparently it’s not unusual for a $100 million movie to create a naming surge, but these names are particularly retarded.  Just imagine kids being asked to explain their namesake.

Random Shlub: “Neytiri, that’s an unusual name, how’d you get it?”

Neytiri: “I was named after a character from this weird SciFi movie.”

Random Shlub: “Oh, neat.  Can you describe the character’s personality?”

Neytiri: “Uh…Nonexistant?”

Random Shlub: “What about you Turok?”

Turok: “I was named after a giant flying creature from the same movie.”

Random Shlub: “Oh, interesting, does it have any special powers?”

Turok: “Um…it’s a little bit bigger than the other flying creatures, I guess.”

Random Shlub: “What about you Pandora, how’d you get your name?”

Pandora: “I was named after the planet from that movie.”

Random Shlub: “But not the far more famous Greek figure?”

Pandora: “The who?”

Random Shlub: “You know, the woman?  With the box?  Kinda…screws everything up for mankind.”

Pandora: “No, Pandora is a planet in a movie by the same name.  My parents never mentioned a story about a box.”

Random Shlub: “Are your parents ignorant  dumbasses?”

Pandora: “I don’t think so.  They must read a lot, because they keep their reading glasses on the table next to the couch.”

Random Shlub: “Are they 3D reading glasses?”

Pandora: “Yeah, for the subtitles.”

Random Shlub: “Well, this has been interesting.  Nice meeting you three, but I have to run off and meet my friends Raptor, Titanic, and Green Goblin.”